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Pillows: Man’s Best Friend
You know how people say that a dog is man’s best friend? That’s wrong. A dog is a man’s responsibility. A dog is a little poop factory that’s only goal in life is to eat food directly off of your plate...
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Let’s Talk Paper Towels
Around ten o’clock today, I took my usual coffee break at work. My eight o’clock coffee had just begun to wear off, so to prevent any sort of unfortunate incidents due to a lack of caffeine, I headed...
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Why Does My Bed Refuse To Do Its Job?
Tuesday started off very poorly. I awoke to the sound of my alarm clock. After hitting snooze until the very last second I could, I crawled out of bed. I stood up straight and immediately realized two...
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Why Do You Hate Me, Mother Nature?
Summer is not a season that I hold in high regard. There are a lot of reasons for this thought on summer. As a person who does not enjoy beaches, pools, or tanning, the main draw of the season is lost...
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Pants Will Be the Death of Me
Humans are without a doubt the dumbest animal on the planet Earth. Just look at all of the creatures that are in the world. Crows are born knowing how to build tools. I would have trouble doing that...
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Babies: The World’s Most Adorable Money Suck
Disclaimer: The following post involves shopping for items that would be involved in the raising of a child. If you are a parent of either myself or my wife, I must warn you this does not imply we are...
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Dear Nathan
DEAR NATHAN: My son and his wife, “Carole,” have been married for two years. I was recently introduced to her father, “Ted,” who has been alone for 13 years. Carole told me later in no uncertain terms...
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The Mystery of the Catalog
It’s always nice to receive mail. There’s just something about getting that envelope and holding it in your hands. It could be anything from a card to an invitation to one of the many soirees I am...
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Diamonds: A Girl’s Best Friend, A Man’s Mortal Enemy
There are few places a man likes to be in less than a jewelry store. It is a store filled with only attention grabbing things. Worse, none are ever cheap. Being a notorious cheapskate, a jewelry store...
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Admissions of a Whole Foods Outsider
Everyone needs a place where they feel they belong. A place of camaraderie where you will feel comfortable no matter what. I have found in my lifetime that I possess the ability to become a bit of a...
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